Allowing Anger To Consume Us

Anger

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Buddha

Yesterday, I lost it.

I allowed someone’s words to make me angry.

Oh, I don’t mean a little irritated.

I mean flat out, shaking from head to toe, angry.

That anger cost me a few hours of not helping someone who may have needed help. It cost me time holding and smiling with my grandson.

Heck, it even cost me enjoying a good cup of coffee.

That sad part is that anger had no impact on what made me angry to begin with. I am betting the person who shared the words that set me off had absolutely no clue that I was angry. He was likely kicking back and enjoying the afternoon sunshine.

Who is to blame here?

Shouldn’t I come up with 112 different ways to tell him that he is a complete idiot?

What would that solve?

Wouldn’t I simply have 112 more ways to get even angrier?

The truth is that I am 100% to blame for my own anger and for allowing that anger to consume me, literally stealing a few hours from my day.

ANGER IS A THIEF!

But the worst part? It wasn’t enough that I was totally lost in my own anger, I had to share it with someone else. I had to make sure to share every reason I was angry with a friend. WHY? Did I want the friend to be filled with anger too?

What kind of friend would dump this garbage on another friend’s day?

If I needed a way to blow off steam, I could have gone for a run, or written out my anger and then deleted it. I could have stood in the shower and screamed!

I think the key though is in preventing getting to that point.

If we don’t, then our moods are bound to carry over into our business life and the way that we treat our potential clients.

We truly do not have to attend every argument we are invited to.

We can CHOOSE not to get involved in discussions that we know may set us off.

We can also respectfully CHOOSE to remove ourselves from conversations that get out of hand before we lose it.

Perhaps sometimes we get so hung up on the little things that we forget what matters.

Life.

J. Cricket Walker of CricketWalker.com

  1. ChristyChristy05-08-2012

    …or you can respectfully tell them to kiss your southern ass….

    • CricketCricket05-08-2012

      ROFLMBO! I believe I may have done that once. Or, maybe it was my evil twin sister? (grin)

  2. Sarah FSarah F05-08-2012

    Amen to that! I am just as guilty of letting anger be a thief and wasting time and energy prepping for that imagined argument to come. Too often I think if I don’t do that I won’t be “ready.” But I’m slowly starting to learn that it does no good… though I did say slowly… thanks for this reminder today. I needed it!

    • CricketCricket05-10-2012

      It was actually a reminder for me! :)

  3. SandiSandi05-08-2012

    I find myself getting angry at the little things – people not doing what they say they will, something coming out wrong and I get angry with the results. But you are so right – Life is what is important – the little things will fade away – I don’t want to fade with them, I want to live life to the fullest – and have a smile on my face while I am doing it.

    • CricketCricket05-10-2012

      Sometimes I think we just need to ask ourselves if it is actually worth the stress it brings to us. :)

  4. SOBSOB05-08-2012

    I just allowed a friend to get my goat and I’m not completely over it. There’s more to share which I can’t/won’t do in public. I wrote out a reply, thought netter of it and deleted it. They really are ignorant (not stupid) but too ignorant for me to explain what it feel like on this end of it. ‘m going to try not to let my friend get my goat again.

  5. It is seriously the worst of human emotions, I mean , people end doing just ANYTHING when they get angry and then regret later. Controlling anger is so very important in everyone’s life.

    • CricketCricket05-10-2012

      This is so true. I wonder how many friendships have been destroyed by words said in anger.

  6. Lora PhillippiLora Phillippi05-10-2012

    Thanks for writing this today Cricket. Everything you said is so on point. I too had an incident last night that could have set me over the edge with anger… but I’m proud of myself for staying calm and letting the other person have their angry fit. I walked away with a clear head and a strategy to move forward (this was a big, life altering kind of altercation.) It doesn’t always happen that way, but I’ll take one day at a time.

    • CricketCricket05-10-2012

      I cannot agree with you more! :)

      I try to live my life one day at a time.

      For a while there I thought I had gotten so much better at controlling anger but then I realized I had simply gotten old and lazy, making it far more likely for me to take things in stride! LOL

  7. True words, Cricket. I was taught that anger itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing (think Jesus in the Temple), but you’re right; but if you can’t let it go you’ve got trouble.

    Remembering the wonder and blessings in my life can go a long way towards replacing anger with peace (well, that and chocolate…:o)

  8. Patrick NeilPatrick Neil05-14-2012

    Count me in guys. I’m a moody guy. Whenever I get angry, I make sure that I get rid of it once and for all by doing weird things and sometimes violence.

  9. BlindsBlinds07-27-2012

    Hey Cricket, I also suffer from a short fuse, I’ve found a really good book that has really helped, please Google “The Tools” it’s got 1 tool there specifically to help you when you feel like you’re losing it.

    The tool also helps you get over it quicker, so that it doesn’t spoil your whole day.

    PS I love your online initiatives, good design and good content, keep up the good work, I’ll be back

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