I Unfriended You Today

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I realize that you don’t know me. Heck, I doubt you would even recognize my name.

You are one of the elite in the marketing world who many want to be. I followed you on Twitter, listening to every tweet you typed because I heard you were an expert in your field. I respectfully requested that you add me as a friend on Facebook because I was afraid to miss even a single comment that you might make.

Why?

You are known to be one of the best, and I had always heard that if ya truly want to be successful, follow the lead of those getting it done. But, ya know what?

I unfriended you today…

I am not naΓ―ve enough to think you care or even that you might notice, but I thought perhaps you might want to know why.

It had nothing to do with how good your message is. Heck, you use some of the best techniques I have ever seen. Your information is good, in fact it is very good.

It is for that very reason that I cannot understand why you find it necessary to create controversy by making fun of people and mocking them? Did you think I would look up to you because you post pictures of fat people and write condescending comments?

Did you think I would laugh when you looked down on others? Did you think it would make me respect you more if you pointed out what you saw as the shortcomings of those beneath your social status?

Every single time I did not respond to these comments, I became more angry with myself for not standing up for what is right, for those who were hurting because of what you had to say.

If treating others with disdain and disrespect is what it takes to be successful, no thank you. I think maybe I will stick with doing things the old fashioned way, treating people the way I would want to be treated.

Yeah, I am just a dumb country girl. Some might even call me a redneck.

I understand that I will miss out on your great brilliance, but either way…

I unfriended you today.

Most importantly, I remembered the most important lesson I ever learned.

β€œPeople do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.” John Maxwell

J. Cricket Walker ofΒ CricketWalker.com

  1. Luanne JacobsLuanne Jacobs03-10-2011

    I agree with you completely Cricket! Thanks for speaking for all of us!!

    • CricketCricket03-10-2011

      I am angry with myself for not standing up for what is right sooner.

  2. ElaineElaine03-10-2011

    That is really good advice. The problem is, even if you can learn a lot from someone, if they spend their time treating others unfairly, it seeps into all of their behavior. If you pay attention long enough, it may even seep into your thoughts. Garbage in, garbage out.

    Everyone has something unique to teach the world. But I’m sure you can find another leader whose values match your own, and learn from them without risking becoming a little bit of a jerk yourself.

    • CricketCricket03-10-2011

      This is so true Elaine. It is so easy to slip into a negative attitude if we allow ourselves to be surrounded in it…

  3. MichaelMichael03-10-2011

    Wow.. that is so good Cricket.. Very powerful.. thanks for sharing.

    • CricketCricket03-10-2011

      I have trouble shutting up when something upsets me. πŸ˜‰

  4. EydieEydie03-10-2011

    Cricket – you couldn’t have said it better! I think some of the big wigs out there forget their manners and think they can get away with things because they’re the ‘experts’. I hope you emailed your former ‘friend’ your post! Good job!

    Eydie πŸ™‚

    • CricketCricket03-10-2011

      The vast majority of the “big wigs” I have interacted with on social networking sites are some of the kindest people I have ever know, but like all things in life, we run into a bad apple now and then.

  5. WesWes03-10-2011

    WOW, that took a turn I wasn’t expecting. I just thought you were going to say you minimize all of the noise or something.. πŸ™‚ Regardless, I’m right there with you Cricket! I find that when I pay to much attention to those people my attitude starts going in the wrong direction. I had to tune out my talk radio and a few bloggers recently because all the negativity was affecting me.

    • CricketCricket03-10-2011

      A cricket minimize the noise? Are you nuts??? (grin)

      You make a very valuable point though. That which we surround ourselves with, is often what we become….

  6. Matthew EdwardMatthew Edward03-10-2011

    This reminds me of a quote that goes something like:
    “How you judge people says more about you than it does about them.”

    Dying to know who the influencer is that you unfriended!

    • CricketCricket03-10-2011

      Much more important than the name of the person I unfriended is that we all (myself included) always remember that there are real human beings on the other side of the monitor. πŸ™‚

  7. Kelley DenzKelley Denz03-10-2011

    I agree with you completely. If someone has to belittle another person to feel good about themselves what does that say about them. Good for you standing up for yourself.

  8. Wendy YWendy Y03-10-2011

    Bravo Cricket! That is an important and powerful message. It is very easy to forget that real people see what we post online. We all need to remember that. I also like the quote that Matthew shared. That one is definitely going up on my office wall as a reminder.

  9. Joyce ReidJoyce Reid03-10-2011

    Bravo, Cricket!! I disagree with a lot of your political beliefs but neither you nor I would ever stoop to putting each other down because of them.

    • CricketCricket03-10-2011

      Heck, my very best friend and I don’t have the same political beliefs, but we treat each other with respect and even tease each other about it. πŸ˜‰

  10. Les BainLes Bain03-10-2011

    Well done!

  11. CherylCheryl03-10-2011

    I find that I have to do the same thing – unfriend or sometimes delete people from my email – because I can’t afford the negative. I think we hope that it’s circumstantial that people would say cruel things. They say it makes people feel better to downgrade others. But there’s nothing better than encouraging others and watching them grow. Saying something is a whole ‘nuther thing. It takes courage to say something and to say it in such a way that it doesn’t put them down as well. I don’t know many people who have the skills to do that.

    • CricketCricket03-10-2011

      It is definitely a struggle to find a way to say something. Sometimes choosing not to have negative people in our lives says what needs to be said, loud and clear.

  12. Doc SheldonDoc Sheldon03-10-2011

    An excellent reminder of the folks on the other side of the monitor, Cricket. Thanks for helping the rest of us stay grounded. πŸ˜‰

    • CricketCricket03-10-2011

      You are one of the kindest people I know Doc. I have a feeling you focus on bringing a smile to people every single day. πŸ™‚

  13. Jim SandersJim Sanders03-10-2011

    Spot on Cricket, that’s just an example of ones that got into it for the money to begin with, or those that started out good and allowed greed to corrupt them. I can’t agree with you more. Brilliant post, and I hope many others learn from it. I hope, should I EVER have the kind of following that the big guys like that have, that I’ll NEVER turn into that. Only time will tell, but I don’t intend to go that route. We’ll see. Thanks for the post.

    • CricketCricket03-10-2011

      I think maybe sometimes who we are inside simply ceases to be hidden and it begins to show up in social marketing as we become more comfortable with new mediums. If we are disrespectful offline, odds are pretty good it will show up online too. Or, it could simply be a matter of not realizing how others take some of the things we say…

  14. koskos03-10-2011

    This type of attitude doesn’t really surprise me at all, Cricket. I used to have many “friends” in the real life that act like that and everything was cool, but after I grew up (mentally I mean) I started to understand how those people felt and what they gone through…that was the time I “unfriended” them and never looked back. that was also the time I joined v7n and you guys really made me a better person, so thank you! It’s amazing to see how good can you be when you stop being evil.

    • CricketCricket03-11-2011

      I think deep inside we all just want to feel like we belong, like we are part of a group. We love it when we can make someone laugh but that doesn’t have to be (nor should it be) at someone else’s expense. The truth is we are all in the same boat, and it just makes sense to do everything we can to lift each other up. That is my ongoing goal for the V7N, to make it a place where people can learn, share, and feel good about themselves at the same time. πŸ™‚

  15. Tiffani KTiffani K03-10-2011

    Great post Cricket!I too have had to dispense with a few blogs that I used to read every day due to the amount of negativity in the posts. I realized that it was making me disgusted and why contribute even one hit to blog like that. I do not have time, space or energy to entertain such a drain!

    • CricketCricket03-11-2011

      That is a lesson I have had to learn over and over again.

  16. Laine DLaine D03-11-2011

    Hi Cricket – Doc Sheldon shared this and so glad he did! Thanks for taking a stand and letting those behaving in a bratty manner that it doesn’t matter who they are they will still be held responsible for their words and actions.

    In fact even more so because they hold a certain level of responsibility based on their position, and that so called followers leading with their ‘feet’ or ‘follow’ can easily become a stampede.

    Thanks for standing up to be counted.

    Laine D

    • CricketCricket03-11-2011

      Laine, it is an absolute pleasure to meet you. πŸ™‚

  17. JimtsapJimtsap03-11-2011

    Cricket for another time, you treat people with respect and sencerity… I totally agree with you. You treat others as you would like to treat you. Respect can bring back only respect. That is the main “ingredient” in order to become successful on any field in life. Loved your post and the way you think… Well Done!

  18. Nancy AndersonNancy Anderson03-11-2011

    I saw this through Laine and wanted to say to you Bravo! We teach our children not to bully yet when an adult behaves this way it is even more despicable. Too many people mean people hide a screen. Thank you for your message.

    • CricketCricket03-11-2011

      In most cases, I truly believe that inside people are truly good and have no idea that making condescending jokes about groups of people can hurt so many who are listening…

  19. I think we’ve all had similar interactions with similar people. Echoing Laine’s comment, I feel that the higher profile people/experts need to set up to that honor with higher standards for their own online behavior.

    I wrote a post about this a couple of months ago when Jimmy Fallon announced it was “national unfriend day”. Good for you Cricket to just unfriend that negative energy.

    Heidi & Atticus
    http://www.atticusuncensored.com
    “commentary to give you paws…”

    • CricketCricket03-11-2011

      We all need to expect those higher standards of ourselves. Positive energy spreads like wildfire! πŸ™‚

  20. Karen ClarkKaren Clark03-11-2011

    I’ve seen this too. Some have the idea that being “gritty” and “bold” is some kind of badge of honor, even if it is at the expense of others. Thanks for setting the RIGHT example Cricket!
    Karen

    • CricketCricket03-11-2011

      I have so very much respect for you Karen. You are definitely an example of someone doing it the right way, the way that people want to follow and be a part of….

  21. M.-J. TaylorM.-J. Taylor03-11-2011

    Obviously, you hit a nerve. What great comments! And I love your inspirational quote. Both your post and that reminds me of what my 7th grade homeroom teacher, Mr. Kalchman, often said: It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice!

    • CricketCricket03-11-2011

      Just one tiny spark can build a raging fire under people. We can choose to be that spark that ignites the world around us.

  22. Laurie HurleyLaurie Hurley03-11-2011

    Wow – that was terrific. You shouldn’t shut up when someone does something wrong – I love your post. There is never a time when disrespecting others, especially in a public forum is acceptable. Bravo for pointing it out to all of us.

  23. DerekDerek03-11-2011

    I’m speechless Cricket. You couldn’t of said or wrote it any better.

  24. MuddyMuddy03-12-2011

    *sniff* I’m gonna miss you Cricket.

    hehe

  25. WOW…This is so very true for all of us to remember. Lead by example, follow “like minded” (happy) people, and if you want to be viewed as successful and professional, don’t act like a spoiled drama queen. When people are always negative that’s exactly what their life and everything in it will be. The key to manifesting an amazing life is by only thinking, speaking, and believing amazing things. Of course sometimes even the best of us are guilty of it but if we have something to vent about and we just can’t keep our mouths closed, get a journal but don’t post it somewhere that hundreds or even thousands of people can read it. πŸ˜‰

  26. ChrisChris03-14-2011

    yes, very well put Cricket. I have never understood why some people feel the need to build themselves up at the expense of other’s feelings. Whoever it was that did this doesn’t deserve you as a follower or reader. You made the right decision.

  27. CricketCricket03-14-2011

    Just to make sure there are no misunderstandings about my post, nothing was said to me or about me. I am referring only to pictures (from around the net) and comments posted (by this person) that were intended to be funny.

    The reason I shared this story was for two reasons, (1) to show how network marketing can go very wrong for you and your business if you do not always keep in mind that who you are laughing at (generically speaking) or making fun of, might very well have been your next big client, and (2) to remind us all that there are real human beings on the other side of the monitor.

  28. AlexandraAlexandra03-15-2011

    Right on.

  29. Hey Cricket, these comments have pretty much said it all. But I wanted to add my ‘Thanks’ to you for reminding us that while we might have differing viewpoints, we don’t have to be rude or mean about it.

    Now, quick! Can you please head to D.C. and explain this to the powers that be (and their news counterparts)?

    • CricketCricket03-27-2012

      Oh how I wish the political would actually debate the issues instead of throwing mud at each other.

  30. Well said Cricket. I simply do not understand the need to belittle others. We should be extending grace to others. Thanks for standing up for the right thing.

  31. GeorgeGeorge11-08-2012

    Good ole Cricket…=)

  32. Jason DJason D09-09-2014

    I wish I knew who this “expert” is/was…..

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