Don’t bother adding comments to popular blogs. It’s a waste of your time. You are about as likely to write anything interesting enough to drive a reader to your website as I am likely to shoot an Ansel Adams’esque windswept landscape, blindfolded.
They just might like what they see, and tell others about you. *gasp!
You can’t risk it!
They might link to you!
If you take the time to set up a blog, make sure that the content is of no value to anyone. Just scrape duplicate content from other blogs and add a ton of spammy links. That way you can be sure no one considers linking to you.
Do not add quality content to your website!
Make sure it breaks in all but one browser. Preferably Opera: because nobody uses that one anyway.
Whatever you do, don’t even think about joining a quality ‘Webmaster Forum’ as the last thing you would want to do is become a valued member of any online community with your signature attached to your post and profile.
Though, if you feel the need to join, don’t bother with quality posting…
…Better yet, don’t even read the rules!
Just dive right in with ‘Mr. Obvious Replies’ and spam your URL all over the community in as many threads as possible with as much zest for ctrl-v as your fingers will allow. That way you can get banned faster and won’t have to worry about someone wanting to link to you.
Even curiosity can get a hit or two to your site a day and god-forbid if your posts lasted longer than the Windows Boot Logo. This way, they’ll all hit the Spam can and be assured of never being seen.
If someone is foolish enough to ask you for an interview after seeing the quality of your posts in the forums, tell them ‘No!’ immediately. You cannot take the risk as they will inevitably link to your site as part of the article. This can be bad news, indeed.
If after seeing your crappy content, someone is desperate enough to ask you to write a guest article for them, (it goes without saying that you would certainly never offer to write a guest article) turn them down. If the bar is that high then you haven’t been working hard enough and need to re-read this article. If they insist, make sure you do not add an author bio linking to your site.
It would be nuts to submit to a quality directory like the V7N Web Directory. Directories are like a phone book of the web. Why would you want to be listed with like-minded business people?
Join social bookmarking sites like StumbleUpon? Are you crazy? Even though they use the nofollow attribute on all outgoing links, you cannot take the risk.
What if someone actually likes what you have to say, and starts paying attention to your post? What if they look up the URL to your site? Don’t do it! A few links might sneak through!